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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

LISTEN....




Listen.........
Thank you for always being there,
To listen and understand me.
I appreciate all you did for me,
And all you still do.

Thank you for making me feel whole again, 
For putting my pieces back together.
I appreciate you putting my life back together,
You saved my life.

You may not understand, 
Why I do what I do.
But you never criticized,
You just helped my through.

I knew I could come to you when I was down, 
'cause I knew you'd always be there
to pick me back up
and say everything will be ok.

A SHORT LOVE STORY (Naughty)


"Apologizing does not mean that you are wrong and the other one is right...
It simply means that you value the relationship much more than your
 ego"



A SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before, 
but who were both married to other people,
found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in  the lower.

At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am,I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? 
I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow! That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own bloody blanket.'

Honey, why don't you pay?

Who the hell said that men want to spend all the money when they go out on a date? Certainly not men!

Feminism is the most conveniently distorted term on earth. What it often means is what the legendary humourist Ogden Nash wrote once, ‘To keep your marriage brimming / With love in the loving cup/ Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; / Whenever you’re right, shut up’.

In such a badly defined scheme of things — equality means 50-50 being the least followed principle — there comes a time when a man goes out on a date with a girl he likes. After the customary dinner comes a fat bill. The guy gets kill-billed, since he has to shell out the cash or sink deeper into credit’s quagmire. The second date follows a few days later. History repeats itself. The meal gets over. The waiter gets the bill. The woman smiles. The guy pays. He looks at his date and flashes a 32-all-out grin. But, what seems like a high is actually a deep sigh within.

Assumption is the mother of most disasters. So ladies, just in case your boyfriend is spending while you are watching, please don’t assume that the guy is in love with the experience. After all, why should he be? Both of you earn. Both of you have expenses to deal with, like paying hefty mobile bills, petrol bills, house rent, electricity-landline-newspaper-cable-bhajiwallah bills.

Both of you go broke by the middle of the month. So, the idea is to balance the expenses when the two of you go out, leading to a situation in which you continue to go broke at the same time! Once you get married and pool your money, chances are that you will break even. Till that happens — that is, if that does — isn’t it only fair to share the beast of burden, that thing called expense, when you guys are out on a date?

Living in a consumerist society where EMIs for everything right from homes to jeans lead to disguised bankruptcy for most, men enjoy those moments when their girlfriends offer to deal with the aftermath of dining out. So, dear ladies, here is a thought one wants to share with you. If you want that the relationship must stay/Share the number of times each of you pay!

If your guy acts macho — macho, not genuine — and refuses to make you spend, just take out your credit card, look into his eyes, and murmur, “Wanna spend rest of my money with you”...

Rights and Wrongs for a Salesman

Aman Singh was appointed sales person at a local General Dealer's store in Chandhigarh While on one of his shifts, a lady approached him and asked if they had peach jam to which he bluntly replied, "Out of stock." At this, the lady immediately turned to leave the shop in disgruntlement.
It was then that the shopkeeper, who had been looking on, called Aman Singh aside and told him, "When a customer asks for a product that is out of stock, you apologize for its unavailability, and then offer other types of the same product. For instance in this case it was peach jam; offer other types of jam like plum jam, guava jam and so on."
Next, came in another lady who asked for toilet paper and Aman Singh politely replied, "I am sorry ma'am, we do not have any toilet paper right now but you could try may be some sand paper!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I ASK GOD TO.....



I ask GOD to.... 
make you happy, 
make you smile, 
guide you safely, 
though every mile, 
grant you wealth, 
give you health, 
most of all grant you paradise!!!
Happy Monday 

Saturday, October 9, 2010

What she doesn’t want to hear

Here are some things that you should always avoid telling your girl if you want to have a peaceful relationship

You look a bit fat in that dress
Now which girl would like you telling her that she is looking fat. A statement like this will definitely have you spending the night on the couch.

Your mom looks like she's your younger sister
Yes, girls love their mom, but don't ever do the mistake of comparing them, especially in the looks department. You won't score any brownie points by doing this.

I have the best time with my friends
You may enjoy hanging out with your friends, but that doesn't mean you say that to her on her face. Sometimes it's best to be diplomatic.

I can't go out because I want to watch a match
Unless your girlfriend is a sports buff don't give her this excuse very often.

You remind me of my ex
That's the worst thing you could say to your girlfriend. She will always be left wondering if you got into the relationship only because she is a mirror image of your ex.

My mom is the best cook
Women take great pride in their culinary skills. So don't ever claim that your mom cooks better than any woman in the world. You may just have to put up with burnt food for the rest of the week.

I don't like your friends
Like you love hanging out with your friends, your girlfriend loves her friends. Don't make your dislike for them so obvious. Friends can influence your girl to a great extent, so make sure you are in their good books.

Why do you spend so much on beauty treatments?
Don't question your girlfriend spending long hours in the beauty parlour. If you like to spend time playing football and getting dirty then she'd like to spend her time getting pretty. Accept it!

Wow! That girl is hot
Whether it's Priyanka Chopra or Angelina Jolie or just some random girl on the road, never ogle at a woman openly in front of your girl.

I need some space
If you feel the need for space try and suggest it in a subtle manner. Being far to open about it may leave you with too much space and no gf.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Facing River of Difficulties

A very tired traveler came to the banks of a river.
There was no bridge by which he could cross. It was winter, and the surface of the river was covered with ice. It was getting dark, and he wanted to reach the other side while there was enough light to see. He debated about whether or not the ice would bear his weight.
Finally, after much hesitation and fear, he got down on his knees and began very cautiously to creep across the surface of the ice. He hoped that by disturbing the weight of his body, the ice would be less apt to break under the load.
After he made his slow and painful journey about halfway across the river, he suddenly heard the sound of singing behind him. Out of the dusk, there came a 4-horse load of coal driven by a man singing merrily as he went to his carefree way. Here was the traveler, fearfully inching his way on his hands and knees. And there, as if whisked along by the winter's wind, went the driver, his horses, his sled, and the heavy load of coal over the same river!
The story illustrates how many of us go through life.
Some stand on the bank of decisions unable to make up their minds about the course to take. Others stand on the banks trying to muster enough courage to cross over to the other side of the task or problem encountered.
On the other hand, some individuals crawl and creep through life for fear of thin ice.
Their faith is not strong enough to hold them up. Still there are those who whisked along whistling as they go. Their faith is UNSHAKABLE.
When we face the river of difficulties, we do not have to fear, nor do we creep through life. God has promised to help, and with God's help we can merrily make our way to the other side safely.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Your Dose of Laughter

*Looks of Disappointment*
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're beautiful.' Then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're cute..' The wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful,' it was now 'cute.'
She asked, 'What happened to beautiful?'
The man replied, 'The drugs are wearing off.'
__________________________________



*Catholic Dog*
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead... Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church.... But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
__________________________________


*Donation*
Father O'Malley answers the phone.
'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
-====--====--====--====--====--====--

Fir Bana Mujhe A Ghazal by Salman Akhtar..

Fir Bana Mujhe... 
A Ghazal by Salman Akhtar..



Click here to join Shayariworld Group Blog to get Love,Dosti and Dard Shayaris and Ghazals

Value....Wonderful story

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. 

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

There is Hope for the Rest of Us


This disabled couple proves that there is hope for the rest of us. He has no arms and she has no legs but what they are able to accomplish is remarkable. She takes care of him good and he’s able to do almost everything with his feet. Moreover, in their everyday life they do all the housework without any help from the others. They are an amazing couple. More images after the break...


Saturday, September 25, 2010

Where is Rs.1?????

If you are genius then solve it........ its challenge...







3 Dost Khana Khane ke liye Hotel me gaye,



Khana khane ke baad waiter ne bill diya,



bill ki amount Rs.75 thi...
sabhi dost ne apne hisse ke Rs. 25 de diye







waiter ne 75 rs. lekar counter par diya.. 
counter wale ne 5 rs. wapis kiya (discount) and 70 rakh liya..
us 5 rs. me se waiter ne 2 rupye rakh liye aur baki ke 3 rupiya customer ko de diye..







is hisab se wo 3 dost ko khana 24-24-24 rupyo me pada..
aur 24+24+24 = 72 and 2 waiter wale 72+2=74....







then where is Rs 1/-....??????







Strange naa??????????







Solve it....







Regards,
Raaj

















Where is Rs.1?????

Friday, September 24, 2010

Employee Kaun Hai


Employee Kaun Hai









:smiley-rigole: 
Attached Image: monthly_09_2010/post-55-057597700 1284701112.jpg


Employee woh hai 

jo aksar fasta hai 

interviews ke sawaal me 

badi companiyon ke jal me 

boss aur client ke bawaal me 

Employee woh hai 

jise intezaar hai 

weekend night pe dhoom machane ka 

boss ke chhuti par jane ka 

increment ki khabar aane ka 

Employee woh hai 
jo sochta hai 

kaash padhai par dhyaan diya hota 

kaash teacher se panga na liya hota 

kaash ishq na kiya hota..... 

Employee woh hai 

jo pak gaya hai 

meetings ki jhelai me 

submissions ki gehraai me 

teamwork ki chataai me 

Employee woh hai 

jo laga rahta hai 

schedule ko fislane me 

targets ko khiskane me 

roz naye naye bahane banaane me 

Employee woh hai 

jo lunch time me breakfast leta hai 

dinner time me lunch karta hai 

aur 

commutation ke waqt soya karta hai 

Employee woh hai 

jo paagal hai 

chai aur samose ke pyaar mey 

cigarette ke khumar mey 

birdwatching ke wichaar mey 

Employee woh hai 
jo khoya hai 

reminders ke jawab me 

na milne wale hisab me 

Behtar bhavisya ke khwab me...
It's true they say that a picture is worth a thousand words.
I don't think there is abetter way of explaining our life. Imagine yourself sitting in the blackchair



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Five Things You Should Know Before Traveling with a New Beau



Five Things You Should Know Before Traveling with a New Beau

There are certain defining moments in every new relationship; the first time you spend the night, hang out with his/her friends, or get introduced to a new partner’s parents are just some of those milestones. Perhaps the biggest turning point is when a new beau suggests a vacation, trip, or weekend away, just the two of you.

It’s a proposal that can launch multiple emotions ranging from excitement (wow, he must really like me) and panic (how am I going to keep my hair from frizzing up) to fear (what if we fight the whole time.) Those feelings are generally accompanied by equal parts primping, prodding and prepping.


Despite planning and best intentions, things get a lot trickier the second you embark on your getaway. Tiny peccadilloes only get magnified and people either mesh or clash as travel companions. Quite frankly (and often), that first trip as a twosome can be a deal breaker. So here are some simple insights for single ladies to take on the road with them which may come in handy:


Ladies, remember this about men:



1. Getting Lost Is an Adventure: It’s not that men think they have a better sense of direction than women, need to be in control or are resistant to asking for help (well ok maybe some of that), they simply love to explore. Getting lost gives them the chance to stumble upon hidden spots, taste new flavors and touch foreign objects and sate their curiosity, which is why more often than not they will follow a trail or road to nowhere.



2. Weather Is Not a Critical Element: It appears as though men have some sort of cold and warm weather resistance whereby rest, romance, and relaxation are not controlled by rain or shine. Ladies, if you want to travel simpatico know that men have no remorse sleeping or staying indoors on a hot sunny day nor will they allow a brewing storm to ruin their plans for an outdoor excursion.



3. The Remote Equals Control in Every Language: Most men have a keen ability to watch anything, anytime, anywhere, especially when it comes to sports, reruns, and action flicks. It should come as no surprise if you find your man glued to episode 98 of Seinfeld, regardless if it’s in Italian, Dutch or Japanese.



4. They Are Not Attuned to Hunger Signals: Meals have no beginning or end for a guy who’s on vacation. For them a free breakfast buffet or open-air food market is akin to a Chanel sample sale. We suggest you don’t assume them to be cheap (or a glutton) if they insist on making the rounds for a meal just before dinner.



5. They Have Body Doubts Too: Bearing it all on the beach or in bed that first time can be just as intimidating for a man as it can be for you. Men are riddled with their own set of insecurities with a little paunch or back hair topping the list from our informal survey amongst editors. It’s important not to think of them as less manly if they take time for personal-care rituals of their own, even when that involves cover-up or tweezers!

Buddha’s Advice to Calm a Disturbed Mind

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers.. This was in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”
 
The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!”
 
So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.” After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.
 
This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. The disciple reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.
 
Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,” See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be…. and the mud settled down on its own – and you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

When Opportunity knocks....,MAKE USE OF IT !!!! Full View

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks,
'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'
The robber then shot him point blank, killing him instantly.. 
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,
'Did you see me rob this bank?' 



The man smartly replied... 
 
 
 
 J

J

J



  J




"No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
- Moral -
When Opportunity knocks....
MAKE USE OF IT !!!!  

I Was Remembering You

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