Your Dose of Laughter

*Looks of Disappointment*

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're beautiful.' Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're cute..' The wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful,' it was now 'cute.'

She asked, 'What happened to beautiful?'

The man replied, 'The drugs are wearing off.'

__________________________________

*Catholic Dog*

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead... Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church.... But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

__________________________________

*Donation*

Father O'Malley answers the phone.

'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'

'He will.'

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Fir Bana Mujhe A Ghazal by Salman Akhtar..

Fir Bana Mujhe... 
A Ghazal by Salman Akhtar..

Value....Wonderful story

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. 

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

There is Hope for the Rest of Us

This disabled couple proves that there is hope for the rest of us. He has no arms and she has no legs but what they are able to accomplish is remarkable. She takes care of him good and he’s able to do almost everything with his feet. Moreover, in their everyday life they do all the housework without any help from the others. They are an amazing couple. More images after the break...

Where is Rs.1?????

If you are genius then solve it........ its challenge...

3 Dost Khana Khane ke liye Hotel me gaye,

Khana khane ke baad waiter ne bill diya,

bill ki amount Rs.75 thi...

sabhi dost ne apne hisse ke Rs. 25 de diye

waiter ne 75 rs. lekar counter par diya.. 

counter wale ne 5 rs. wapis kiya (discount) and 70 rakh liya..

us 5 rs. me se waiter ne 2 rupye rakh liye aur baki ke 3 rupiya customer ko de diye..

is hisab se wo 3 dost ko khana 24-24-24 rupyo me pada..

aur 24+24+24 = 72 and 2 waiter wale 72+2=74....

then where is Rs 1/-....??????

Strange naa??????????

Solve it....

Regards,

Raaj

 ******************** 

Where is Rs.1?????

Employee Kaun Hai

Employee Kaun Hai

 

Employee woh hai 

jo aksar fasta hai 

interviews ke sawaal me 

badi companiyon ke jal me 

boss aur client ke bawaal me 

Employee woh hai 

jise intezaar hai 

weekend night pe dhoom machane ka 

boss ke chhuti par jane ka 

increment ki khabar aane ka 

Employee woh hai 
jo sochta hai 

kaash padhai par dhyaan diya hota 

kaash teacher se panga na liya hota 

kaash ishq na kiya hota..... 

Employee woh hai 

jo pak gaya hai 

meetings ki jhelai me 

submissions ki gehraai me 

teamwork ki chataai me 

Employee woh hai 

jo laga rahta hai 

schedule ko fislane me 

targets ko khiskane me 

roz naye naye bahane banaane me 

Employee woh hai 

jo lunch time me breakfast leta hai 

dinner time me lunch karta hai 

aur 

commutation ke waqt soya karta hai 

Employee woh hai 

jo paagal hai 

chai aur samose ke pyaar mey 

cigarette ke khumar mey 

birdwatching ke wichaar mey 

Employee woh hai 
jo khoya hai 

reminders ke jawab me 

na milne wale hisab me 

Behtar bhavisya ke khwab me...

It's true they say that a picture is worth a thousand words.
I don't think there is abetter way of explaining our life. Imagine yourself sitting in the blackchair

Five Things You Should Know Before Traveling with a New Beau

There are certain defining moments in every new relationship; the first time you spend the night, hang out with his/her friends, or get introduced to a new partner’s parents are just some of those milestones. Perhaps the biggest turning point is when a new beau suggests a vacation, trip, or weekend away, just the two of you.

It’s a proposal that can launch multiple emotions ranging from excitement (wow, he must really like me) and panic (how am I going to keep my hair from frizzing up) to fear (what if we fight the whole time.) Those feelings are generally accompanied by equal parts primping, prodding and prepping.

Despite planning and best intentions, things get a lot trickier the second you embark on your getaway. Tiny peccadilloes only get magnified and people either mesh or clash as travel companions. Quite frankly (and often), that first trip as a twosome can be a deal breaker. So here are some simple insights for single ladies to take on the road with them which may come in handy:

Ladies, remember this about men:

1. Getting Lost Is an Adventure: It’s not that men think they have a better sense of direction than women, need to be in control or are resistant to asking for help (well ok maybe some of that), they simply love to explore. Getting lost gives them the chance to stumble upon hidden spots, taste new flavors and touch foreign objects and sate their curiosity, which is why more often than not they will follow a trail or road to nowhere.

2. Weather Is Not a Critical Element: It appears as though men have some sort of cold and warm weather resistance whereby rest, romance, and relaxation are not controlled by rain or shine. Ladies, if you want to travel simpatico know that men have no remorse sleeping or staying indoors on a hot sunny day nor will they allow a brewing storm to ruin their plans for an outdoor excursion.

3. The Remote Equals Control in Every Language: Most men have a keen ability to watch anything, anytime, anywhere, especially when it comes to sports, reruns, and action flicks. It should come as no surprise if you find your man glued to episode 98 of Seinfeld, regardless if it’s in Italian, Dutch or Japanese.

4. They Are Not Attuned to Hunger Signals: Meals have no beginning or end for a guy who’s on vacation. For them a free breakfast buffet or open-air food market is akin to a Chanel sample sale. We suggest you don’t assume them to be cheap (or a glutton) if they insist on making the rounds for a meal just before dinner.

5. They Have Body Doubts Too: Bearing it all on the beach or in bed that first time can be just as intimidating for a man as it can be for you. Men are riddled with their own set of insecurities with a little paunch or back hair topping the list from our informal survey amongst editors. It’s important not to think of them as less manly if they take time for personal-care rituals of their own, even when that involves cover-up or tweezers!

Buddha’s Advice to Calm a Disturbed Mind

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers.. This was in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”

 

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!”

 

So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.” After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.

 

This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. The disciple reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

 

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,” See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be…. and the mud settled down on its own – and you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.

When Opportunity knocks....,MAKE USE OF IT !!!! Full View

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks,

'Did you see me rob this bank?'

The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'

The robber then shot him point blank, killing him instantly.. 

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,

'Did you see me rob this bank?' 

The man smartly replied... 

 
 
 
 J

J

J

  J




"No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

- Moral -

When Opportunity knocks....

MAKE USE OF IT !!!!  

I Was Remembering You

Virginity, lost it yet?

A recent survey states the average age for losing virginity is 17. Is that so or are teenagers getting sexually active even earlier? Debarati S Sen explores ...

Studies have revealed that children, these days, are losing their virginity at a very young age. Experts say that with the average age of puberty going down to 9-10 years for girls and 10-11 years for boys, the average age for losing virginity too is going down. And the deadly paring with this is — awareness about sex is more these days and information (not always from the right sources) is freely available. Television, movies and most prominently the Internet is loaded with extremely easily accessible information and graphic details. This, most of the time, helps to entice the youngsters to experiment, who already have hormones raging through them.

Anju Uppal, principal of an international high school says, "I have been dealing with children for a long time and I do believe that children these days are losing their virginity very early. They get attracted to each other and are tempted to take it all further."

Curiosity killed the cat

Psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria says, "It's human nature to be curious. A teenager would definitely want to experiment and experience the information he/she has heard about sex. For certain kids who are more shy, withdrawn and introverts, social networking sites are best for communication. Kids who may be new to exploring sexuality or may have a high drive, do indulge in cyber sex or phone sex at times." Anju Uppal adds, "They are much more aware of things these days and they are very keen to experiment."

Lack of attention from parents

With most parents working, kids are without proper supervision (a maid would not even understand the nuances of phone or cyber sex) and free to do as they like. "Sometimes the attention from the parents is not enough, kids may indulge in these things just to attract negative attention from parents," says Dr Chhabria.

Family history

Children who are from broken families are prone to indulge in flings with multiple partners without emotional attachments. Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist adds, "When there is a marital discord between parents the children may try to cling to their relationships and are ready to lose their virginity to hold on to it."

Sex isn't taboo anymore

Sex in our society is also not such a taboo as it used to be earlier and virginity is not such a big deal. Psychotherapist Shilpa Raheja agrees, "Virginity has lost its sacred value. 'Saving your virginity for marriage' is something that is even laughed at these days by some people." This attitude, though not very common is accepted.

Influence of alcohol

Is influence of alcohol or substance abuse one of the reasons that lead to lowering the age of sexual activity among children? Dr Chhabria says, "It may not be one of the reasons but it may stimulate the sexual urge further for them to indulge in sex. Also substance and alcohol tend to reduce the anxiety towards sex and alter consciousness which definitely plays a major role in letting the person freely perform sex."

Peer-group pressure

To have a boyfriend or girlfriend is like a status symbol say experts. "So much of 'hanging around' at pubs, cafes and discos are happening. You need a girl in your arms when you walk in to a party," says Shilpa. There are children who have their reasons for absistence but sometimes they are counteracted upon in a very strong way by the friends and the peer group. "Friends often provide the means when a parent refuses," says Anju.

Proper education needed

Yes we all know sex education is provided in schools. Period. But with rampant teenage pregnancies it obviously is not enough. Shilpa says, "Talking openly about sex is still not common. Parents usually want some other organisation to do the sex-talk with their kids."

Effects on children

Seema says, "In the last five years I have seen the number rise rapidly. Around 50-75 per cent young girls and guys lose their virginity much before they are anywhere near adulthood. And this affects them mentally. When kids are in Std 5, they have crushes and before they are in college most lose their virginity. When such a relationship does not work out depression hits them. There are anxiety disorders, eating disorders and feelings of guilt that may ruin their childhood."

Expert advice for parents

A good relationship between parents may be important where both have similar parenting styles. Parents need to be role models and need to make their child see how important is love, affection, care and commitment in a relationship. They need to explain that sex is something precious to be shared with the person you love and not just an act of physical satisfaction.The emotional problems that come up with losing virginity at an early age and that come along with multiple partners needs to be explained to your child with a lot of patience. Children also need to understand that their parents are the one who they need to confide into. Also all information from friends and elsewhere needs to be confirmed as it may not always be true. Children also need to judge better for themselves what is right and wrong and what will be good for them in the future.

Advice for teenagers

-The only way you can guarantee that you won't catch a sexually transmitted disease and won't get pregnant is abstinence.

- No one can force you into it. 'If you loved me you'd do it', can be countered with a 'If you really loved me you would wait'.

- Saying a no to a person even if it is someone you have said a yes to earlier, is perfectly okay.

- Always keep in mind that despite what rumors and gossip may suggest, virgins are a majority in most high schools, not a minority.

- If you want to show someone how much you care Inte*cou*se is not the only way to go about it. Don't let others try to convince you otherwise.

- If you kiss someone passionately does not mean that you have to go on to having sex with them.

How to Have Sex Appeal

When you see someone that is very social and extremely seductive, maybe they are not that good looking, but they have something that makes you feel attracted and jealous of them. Yeah, that's sex appeal. Want some for your own? Read on to find out how!

1) Care for and love your looks. It is good to look quite nice, it can really make you feel better about yourself. Try to try something new, like a new haircut or new wardrobe. Do something new on your looks, but you have to feel beautiful and find yourself pretty.

2) Don't be afraid to approach people. Being shy won't help you, it will hurt you. If you want to meet new people, it's easy when you make the first move. Go up to them and have a talk, but be enthusiastic and real, and please, wipe off all your awkwardness and insecurities, and express yourself freely.

3) Have a sense of style. It is important to know what is hot and what's not. Remember, fashion is about wearing only what flatters you, since then you will feel comfortable and act more naturally.

4) Connect with people. Look at strangers and make eye contact with them and smile easily. Greet them. It will give you more confidence, besides, doing it is a way of connection that will make it easier to get to meet people.

5) Be sure of your qualities. Being confident in yourself, not only in your looks, but also in your own person, is always important. When you like yourself and you are sure that your qualities are cool, then you will be able to let them be noticed and don't hide them. Tell yourself that you're beautiful and think of why people should like you for you.

6) Always have a good sense of humor. Don't take things too seriously, try to smile easily and laugh 

7) Pretty is as pretty does. Be the person you believe yourself to be on the inside. Attractiveness is not just about physical qualities. Charisma and magnetism and confidence are far more attractive than a stereotypically *beautiful* person with a nasty attitude.

8) Work your eyes. You can flirt just by looking at a guy or a girl with eye contact. Playfully batter your lashes, stay wide-eyed and when he or she says something that should generate a reaction or response, simply open your eyes even wider. This is giving the message "I am interested and listening. You fascinate me". (Although, don't open your eyes too wide, it could make you look fake and scare them off or it will make it look like if she did something and you're looking at her like "IT'S HER!")

11 Signs A Lady Is Telling Lies

She may think her poop smells like roses, but her BS definitely stinks! So, when in doubt, here's how you can figure out if your lady is being straight with you.

1. Vixen Verification: A woman knows all she has to do is shake what her mama gave her and you won't be able to think about anything but boobies. So, if she's trying to change the subject by being sexy, don't let your brain forget the check her booty can't cash. The Frisky: 5 Bits Of Body Language Guys Don't Notice

2. Unpleasant Surprise: If she doesn't feel comfortable accepting gifts from you, either she isn't really feeling you anymore or she did something bad and feels guilty because you're being so nice. This isn't to say only buy her flowers for no reason other than to see if she squirms, but it's a good barometer.

3. Chill, Baby: Does she respond casually? A pause is a good thing if you're reading poetry and a bad thing if you're looking for the truth. Stammering is a surefire sign she's treading on shaky ground.

4. (Not So) Great Orator: On the other hand, this isn't the "State Of The Union." It's just you, her boyfriend. So, if she's using overly formal language and sounds almost like she rehearsed this speech, beware. Just like a slick politician, she's full of it. 

5. Hostile Witness: If she gets mad at you simply for asking about something, that is a real problem. If she cares about you, she'll want to put your mind at ease. If she turns the tables on you and gets all accusatory about being badgered with questions, something is up. The lady doth protest too much.

6. Body Language: Things to look out for: fidgeting and other compulsive, repetitive movements are a bad sign. If she's making eye contact, that's a good sign.

7. Liar, Liar: Have you seen her lie to other people about big things for her own benefit? I'm not talking about tiny white lies like "all this hair is really mine" or "I baked this from scratch," but real character-compromising lies. If the answer is yes, then what makes you think she isn't willing to fib to save face with you?  When she lies to others, how and why does she do it? Now compare it to your situation—sound familiar?

8. The Devil Is In The Details: If she's telling a story and leaving out the details, ask for them and then watch her body language (see #5). On the other hand, if she's telling the story and it's unusually long, why is she so nervous?

9. Ex Marks The Spot: If she vehemently denies she never even thinks about her ex-boyfriend, she's lying. Every girl thinks about her lost loves, but that doesn’t mean she doesn't think what she has with you is better—that's the key!

10. Story Lines: Are you telling the story, or is she? If she just says yes to whatever you're saying about it, there's something more you should know. She should be coloring the story with personal details, not merely going along with what you already know.

11. Listen To Your Gut: We all run on instinct. If you think something is fishy, speak up. If it's merely paranoia, she should be able to help you relax. But if you still feel something is not right, it most likely isn't. When has your gut lied to you?